Sunday, January 15, 2012

It's not out there for everyone is it?

I'm 22 years old. I'm old fashioned, it's not a bad thing. It mostly consists of being a true romantic, a gentleman with virtue and loyalty and bravery that know no bounds for the one I love (Well, the one I would love. There isn't anyone.) Well anyways it seems that anytime I get close to a girl, who I like and seems to like me a lot, things go awry, and I decide to cut them out of my life. Now I don't regret the decisions to remove them from my life, only the fact that I didn't realize who they were sooner. Ex: The last girl was smart, sweet kind and funny, and fun to be with....but she when put to real test she caved, she had no character at all, no self respect and was pathetic like the rest of the unwashed mes. Part of what I am talking about is casual , meet a guy/girl and before you know anything real about them just having this intimate time with them that is supposed to be special and reserved for someone you love. Without love, is pointless. Unless you are a slut. These are the only kinds of people I meet, i've tried places other than clubs and bars, bookstores, the fair, concerts, art galleries. It's just not happening, we have the worst generation for this kind of hedonistic lifestyle, I'm not a complete prude, but for god's sake does everyone need to screw all the strangers they meet to feel fulfilled? Sick compulsion, and i have rid myself of ALL who are of such low character. These people never grow up, they've been going to the same "party" for years and are disgusting children, having reached their proverbial peak in high school or freshman college. Where have all the standards gone? I feel alone all the time, nobody around me understands what I am going through, and it makes me sick. I just keep getting told "you're a handsome guy, go out and get laid." They don't even understand the problem when they offer possibly the worst advice. This loneliness will probably last forever, but it's been so long that each time it returns, I don't feel scared, I feel comfortable. The kind of comfort one gets when in a familiar state. It is familiar. I've bee truly alone my whole life, and I know why, this generations has nothing they value except themselves and their own selfish pleasure. I could never be that way, and so I am forced to solitude as my only option. If there is anyone else out there that feels this way, know that you ARE alone, but their are others like you, who chose solitude in a world or filth. I'm not religious, so don;t rant about that, I just care about people who don't care about anything, not really even themselves. I don't hate them, I pity them. I am forced to care because they won't, and i am forced to feel what they refuse to. So i guess I'll be alone forever. PLEASE don't post dating sites on this question as an answer, it's not what i am looking for.

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